I ‘m like Hercule Poirot, sort of.
by C. M. Albrecht
Hercule Poirot, Agatha Christie’s famed detective, and I share a good many physical as well at mental and daily habit qualities.
The other day after shaving, I stood looking into the mirror and there he was: Hercule Poirot! I suddenly realized how much alike we are.
Okay, I’m six feet tall while he was only about 5′ 4″, but if I hunch my shoulders and bend my knees a little…
He had an egg-shaped head. Mine isn’t quite egg-shaped. A bit more pointy perhaps, but with a bowler on, maybe —
His mustache was of course famous. I have a mustache. Well, I did have one before my wife made me shave it off. I can speak with a very clever French accent and throw in a mon ami, merci or tiens! here and there. That adds a touch of authenticity as well as considerable color to the conversation.
M. Poirot prefers chocolate for breakfast. I don’t care for chocolate for breakfast, but my wife does.
Poirot was a meticulous dresser. Ask anyone at the Goodwill Store and they’ll tell you I’m very picky when it comes to choosing my clothing.(10% discount on Tues. and Wed.. The Belgians, like the French, are thought to be frugal. As for me, I have to be frugal!)
I have a cane. Okay, it may not be a real whangee walking stick like M. Poirot had, but it’s finished to look like one, sort of.
I wear patent leather shoes. Well again, sort of. They’re leather on top and my socks are pattin’ on the sidewalk.
And the little grey cells! Ah, this is where I really shine. My little gray cells are even smaller and more darker grey than M. Poirot’s! I’d say something like the fuzzy dark grey lint that comes from the dryer. In his day he probably didn’t even have a dryer.
So there we have it. My argument why I’m almost as much like Poirot as David Suchet. But I have to admit a secret: I still like Mr. Suchet better. In spite of the similarities between M. Poirot and me, Mr. Suchet is as close to the real Poirot as anyone could ever get. We’ll say no more on the subject.